Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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