i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
