Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
