My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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