how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize