Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We got so high we made milksteak
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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