Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just made out with a guy for $7.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
