You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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