My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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