No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize