Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
