physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
