My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
