Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
