But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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