would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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