I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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