laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
