I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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