she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
