And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
