how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
