david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
