She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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