youre lurking in front of me
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
