he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
