Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
