I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wish you could order shots online.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize