just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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