I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
two words: eviction party
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
