You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My hand turned me down
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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