no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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