He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
