I'm eating all of the evidence.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
