just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
