He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
