I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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