covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
