Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
