Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize