I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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