I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
