I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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