Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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