it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize