if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
