Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Come back. Shots need mouths.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
