I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
