Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
