i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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