Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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