It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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