Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
