But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
