she looked like the before picture.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
What a dumb baby whore.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
