we're blogging at a bar
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
