I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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