Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
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