; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
