My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
