I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
