some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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