i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Randomize
